Christina Aguilera Feels a 'Heavy Amount of Guilt' When She's Not Working

Christina Aguilera is opening up about the grind of being an entertainer.

The 40-year-old “Accelerate” superstar is on the cover of the May 2021 issue of Health Magazine.

Here’s what she had to say…

On life slowing down over COVID: “It was a great time to be hunkered down in my house with my kids. I really got a moment to do little things, like be in my backyard, read books that had been on my to-read list, and go through my old diaries. I have this massive trunk of old diaries that I’ve literally kept from the past 20 years of my life. I was able to catch up on them and do some self-reflecting. It really forced me to be silent and take a look at myself. In some regard, I wasn’t happy with a lot of things, and it’s scary to face those feelings that, under normal circumstances, you don’t have time to face because everyone is going, going, going. That grind is praised, but I think we’re all understanding that having moments to self-reflect and just breathe are crucial. I’ve been working since I was 7 years old. When I’m not working, there’s a heavy amount of guilt that I feel. It’s been embedded in me since I was little—you’re shamed if you don’t want to keep up. As a child [entertainer], you’re all pitted against one another, and other children are all about that grind too. It’s a weird space to grow up in.”

See what else she said…

On turning 40: “You start asking yourself: “Why am I holding back in certain areas of my life? Who am I really living my life for?” And with age, you figure out that life is too short to waste time thinking about what other people think about you. I’ve realized I am making memories for myself and that I shouldn’t worry about what other people think.”

On moments of weakness: “I experienced a lot of trauma in my childhood—I’ve spoken very openly about it. But I think that was just part of my path. I’ve definitely had struggles in the past with depression and anxiety— it’s a constant battle to overcome a mind that is anxious, a mind that is always second-guessing. I was in a session last night, and I got into my head. Someone told me if I wasn’t feeling it, we could call it. I had been feeling like I wanted to end it, but all it took was someone being supportive for me to be like, ‘Wait a second, I’m not giving up on myself like that—let’s go, let’s get it!’”

Christina recently made a rare appearance.

For more from Christina Aguilera, head to health.com.