Gwyneth Paltrow wrote an op-ed essay for British Vogue‘s new issue and in it, she wrote extensively about her ex husband Chris Martin, their decision to divorce, and more.
“My ex and I had always been friends. We laughed at the same things, shared a funny bones humor, impressions, utter silliness. We were moved by the same qualities in music: beautiful chords, innovation, harmonies. Peter Gabriel, Chopin, Sigur Rós – though I listened for pleasure and he like he was studying for an exam. We loved walking to and from Osteria Basilico through the park for pizza, especially on those British summer nights when the sun doesn’t ever seem to set. We loved road trips to the New Forest or to the seaside. But most of all, we loved our children,” Gwyneth said about how she and Chris worked.
But then, she detailed what didn’t work: “We were close, though we had never fully settled into being a couple. We just didn’t quite fit together. There was always a bit of unease and unrest. But man, did we love our children.” Gwyneth didn’t elaborate further about the “unease and unrest” they felt.
Gwyneth also wrote about their infamous “conscious uncoupling,” which they tested out for one year prior to announcing their split.
“When we made a commitment to approach our separation this way, and about a year before we introduced the phrase to the world, we put it to the test. It was hit and miss. We had great days and terrible days. Days when we couldn’t stand each other, but forced ourselves to remember what we were aiming for. Somehow finding a way to smile and hug, and take the kids out for brunch like we had planned. We had just moved to LA and were navigating a lot of change. Looking back, it was probably the most challenging year of my life. I felt ruled by fear,” Gwyneth wrote. “I worried about my children integrating into a new life, new school, new family structure. I worried about the world finding out that we were no longer together before we were ready to say it. And how to say it? What to say?”
Gwyneth concluded with, “It’s OK to stay in love with the parts of your ex that you were always in love with. In fact, that’s what makes conscious uncoupling work. Love all of those wonderful parts of them. They still exist, they can still make you feel the way you felt for that person. Rather than shutting them out, lean into the unfamiliarity of those feelings and explore them. We lose all the nuance of life when we make it all bad or all good.”
British Vogue‘s new issue hits newsstands on Friday August 7!
Chris and Gwyneth have made it a priority to be pals after their split and you can see what they did together that not many divorced couples would do!
